ProduKtive Blog

66 Days to Reigniting the Spark in Your Marriage

Aug 30, 2016 | The ONE Thing

Shot of a happy couple enjoying breakfast together

Going after your ONE Thing can put a temporary strain on your relationship. Counterbalancing between work and home life can be complicated, but it’s necessary to keep the most important people and priorities in focus. When you have to put the bulk of your time and energy toward a goal outside the home, it’s more important than ever to make every moment count with your significant other.

A supportive partner is an essential person who can help you realize great success. In fact, those of us who are in a healthy and encouraging relationship tend to be more successful because we have a partner at home that’s watching our back and helping pick up the slack.

Research from Washington University in St. Louis found that your spouse can influence your salary, raises, promotions and more. Another study found that when our relationships are strong we tend to work more because we’re in a comfortable place at home. That stable, stress-free feeling gives us more vigor and focus for working on all cylinders.

When you think about it, the findings make total sense. If you don’t have to constantly put out fires on the home front you can divert your attention to something else. You’re also happier, which makes you more productive.

But the trick is to bring your focus back to your significant other so things don’t get ignored at home. How can you make sure your partner gets the attention they deserve? This video will show you how you can begin a 66-Day Challenge to create a new relationship building habit that supports your significant other, enhances romance and strengthens your bond. And if you are looking for even more relationship tips to use with your significant other, download our relationship guide here.

 

Make Time with Each Other a Priority

Healthy relationships are all about making time for each other. Our partner has to know that they are a priority even when our focus is elsewhere. That can be accomplished through quality rather than quantity. A short 30-minute lunch break with just the two of you (and no mobile devices) is going to be more beneficial than spending hours together in front of the TV or mingling with friends at a get together.

With jobs, kids, social events and fitness regimens it may seem impossible to find time for one more thing. However, we assure you this ONE Thing is highly influential to your success and happiness both professionally and personally.

Time blocking is a significant factor in successfully completing the 66-Day Challenge. Put aside at least one hour a week and reserve it for your significant other. Clear your schedule, turn your phone off and find a friend or family member to watch the kids. If possible, increase that time or add a few hour-long blocks throughout the week. The important thing is that you keep this appointment with your partner and don’t break it.

 

Make Your Significant Other a Part of Your Golden Hours

The first few hours after you wake up are precious because things haven’t started to pile up and decision fatigue hasn’t drained your brain. During these “golden hours” you’re more relaxed and can fully focus. This is the perfect time to work on your ONE Thing and make your partner the priority.

Start your day at the same time and you’ll be able to spend a few minutes of your golden hours together. You can plan to:

  • Spend the first 10 minutes of the morning relaxing and talking in bed.
  • Eat a family breakfast at the table.
  • Do 10-15 minutes of meditation together.
  • Do 10-15 minutes of partner stretches.

This may not seem like a lot of time, but it’s quality time. It’s when you’re at your best and can make a positive connection before everything else starts to distract you.

 

Create a Relationship Building Daily Habit

The 66-Day Challenge is meant to help people create a new habit and track progress until the action becomes automatic. This model works wonderfully for relationships because success comes one day at a time.

Each day is a building block in a relationship. If those building blocks are solid, the relationship will continue to grow. If they’re unstable and put together with little effort, the relationship is at risk of crumbling. A relationship building daily habit can help ensure there aren’t too many cracks in the foundation.

Here are a few daily habits you may want to add to your 66-Day Challenge calendar:

  • Note something the other person does or did that day that you appreciate.
  • Leave each other a handwritten note before heading out the door in the morning.
  • Send each other an encouraging text at 3pm when energy and willpower starts to wane.
  • Start your post-work conversation by noting one win that happened during the day. That way the after work hours start off on a positive note. Plus, studies have shown couples that celebrate wins together are more satisfied.
  • Wake up a few minutes earlier to do one of the regular morning tasks for your partner, like brewing the coffee.
  • Go to bed together at the same time and say “good night.”

As a spouse’s conscientiousness is the most influential factor on job performance, when you find ways to build on this trait, you’re strengthening your relationship while making headway at work. That’s what we call a win-win!

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