423. A Model for Living with Jason Abrams

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Nikki Miller:

Hey everyone. And welcome back to The ONE Thing podcast. I am here today with the legend himself. A man of many skills and talents, but presently using them as the Head of Industry and Learning for Keller Williams. This is Jason Abrams. I'm so excited to have you.

Jason Abrams:

I'm excited to be here.

Nikki Miller:

Jason, I want to get into what you do at Keller Williams. But before we get there, you have to tell everyone your story because it's a unique one.

Jason Abrams:

But they can't get any richer listening to my story. You're sure?

Nikki Miller:

I'm absolutely sure, because it's an interesting one from the place of being a star student in high school.

Jason Abrams:

Yes.

Nikki Miller:

To -- what did your mom call you?

Jason Abrams:

Drop out. Affectionately drop out.

Nikki Miller:

Of real estate?

Jason Abrams:

With the Jerry Maguire.

Nikki Miller:

There we go. I knew it was.

Jason Abrams:

It wasn't just my mom was in New York Times, but --

Nikki Miller:

It was absolutely your mom that fed it to them. But that's neither here nor there.

Jason Abrams:

That's actually true. So I didn't do great in high school as you alluded. I struggled in all of academia, to be honest with you. I graduated with a 1.8 GPA, and I had no idea what I was going to do after that. And by the way, the reason that that happened was because so many of the skills that I have weren't awarded in academia. I was always told be quiet or do it this way, or stay in the box, or color in the lines and all the cliches you can think of. And I wasn't good at any of those things.

So when I graduated, the last thing I was interested in doing was more school. But nevertheless, I still took a stab at it, like we all do. And then within like an hour and a half, I realized I wasn't going to do that, ever.

Nikki Miller:

It's not for you.

Jason Abrams:

Not for me. So I was actually going to sell. Don't laugh. I was going to sell ladies shoes. True story. Because I actually thought that sounded great. Like I grew up in Metro Detroit, about 40 miles west of the city. And it's a hard place and it's cold eight months out of the year, and you get three boating days a year, and it's just like a difficult deal. So the idea, though, that I could finish school and then hang out in a mall all day.

Nikki Miller:

Talking to the ladies at what were you, 19 at the time?

Jason Abrams:

Yes, you said it. But yeah, that actually sounded really good in my --

Nikki Miller:

I can find the logic there.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah. My friends were all going away to school, and I was the butt of like, every joke, but it didn't even bother me. Like the Al Bundy jokes, because that was the show at the time. I'm millennial. That didn't bother me because I was still going to make more money than I ever had. I grew up really modest. And so the idea that you were going to graduate and then go to work and make $60 or $70,000 a year and live in Detroit, that all sounded great.

My mother, who has always seen more in me than anybody else ever will, she said you should get into real estate. Her father had been in real estate. He had come to this country. He had escaped concentration camp with my grandmother in World War II, came to this country and he was working in a shoe factory. He was making shoes, leather shoes. And she taught herself English, watching television. And he learned it in this factory. And they saved up enough money to buy a house. And they bought this house. And then there was a mistake on title, which those of us in the real estate business can tell you happens rarely. So we ended up with that house, plus the house next door. And he looked up and said, what a country, buy one, get one.

Nikki Miller:

Yeah, buy one, get one free. This is amazing.

Jason Abrams:

Greatest thing I've ever seen. So he was in the real estate business. My mom becomes a teacher, 35 years in, fifth grade, and she just saw me as an adult learner who hadn't learned how to learn yet. And I said, mom, I'm never going to pass the real estate test. Let's just be honest, I haven't passed any test up to this point. Why would this be any different? She said, no, no, no, you're going to pass. And she actually took the classes with me to make sure that I did. And our house became real estate central. I mean, there was no cards everywhere. And you'd open up the cabinet to get a cereal bowl and it would tell you how many square feet are in an acre, right. And I mean it was crazy. And I passed. And she passed. Now, she's never -- it's 24 years later, she's never sold a house.

Nikki Miller:

I mean, we can say that we can credit her to your whole career. She's been advising you the whole time. That's all I'm hearing. Thanks, mom.

Jason Abrams:

So I have continuing education every year. I have to go sharpen my skills and prove that I did it. She still goes with me to make sure that I go to the classes. I swear, it's a true story.

Nikki Miller:

I love this.

Jason Abrams:

It's like our favorite time of the year. So I got the real estate license that way, and then I started. And probably, like, I've listened to a bunch of your podcasts and so many of your people talk about kind of how they were in and then it didn't work, and then it didn't work, and it didn't work. And then they stayed in long enough to make it work. And I didn't sell a single home that first six months. Not one. I was living in my parents' basement. My mom was giving me an allowance and I hadn't sold anything.

And then, lo and behold, this attorney that was friendly with my mom kind of takes pity on me. And this is a divorce attorney and gives me this referral. And so I go to these people's house. And those of you listening to this that have ever had a realtor come to your house, you know how this goes. We knock on the door, we come in, we walk around the house, we sit, we read to you from a giant binder, whatever it is. And then we list your house.

I knocked on these people's door, and this guy opens, and he goes, what? And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm the realtor. And he goes, good, you're the realtor. We're ready to sign. We hate each other. I'm going to sign in the kitchen. She's going to sign in the living room. And I said, well, let's just slow down. I haven't even had a chance to, like, convince you that I'm the guy. And he goes, we hate each other. I don't know if you heard me. We're signing right now.

Nikki Miller:

By the way, every salesperson is cringing because they're just saying, just sign the paperwork, don't ask any more questions.

Jason Abrams:

I was 19, I didn't know any better. I was like, we should slow down and I should read you guys for an hour and a half and then ask your question. And I went in there and I signed everything, and I left. And I got back in the car, and I rolled down the windows on both sides, and I, like, cranked up Bon Jovi's Livin on a Prayer. And like, I took my first listing, which is kind of equitable, if you're thinking about if you're a sports person, it's scoring your first touchdown. It's making your first three pointer in a game. It's making that first deal. And I had never felt that valid before ever.

Nikki Miller:

And then what happened next?

Jason Abrams:

I wanted that feeling every single day. It was all I wanted to feel. So I went back to that attorney's office. It was two days later. And I said, hey, this was great for me. And I need some more people that hate each other, who you got? And he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, you know, those kind of people that just hate each other. You got a rack of them. I need all of them. And he was like, no, I don't have that. And I was crushed. Like it's funny now looking back, you're all, like, smiling. I was crushed. Like, imagine you think you found the cure.

Nikki Miller:

Yeah. You think, you found the gold mine.

Jason Abrams:

Right. The cure for the plague that is your life. And then you find out that it wasn't real. And I was just devastated. And I looked at the guy and said, well, how about people that are just on the path to hating each other, like just today they dislike each other profoundly. He was like, no, I don't have any of those either. And I just couldn't believe it. And I said, well, those people were rich people. To me, those were rich people. I mean, I don't remember. It was like a $230,000 house or something like that. I hadn't been in homes like that before.

And I said, well, if you can't give me people that hate each other, can you just tell me about rich people? How does that work? Who do they want to do business with? How do I do business with them? And over the next hour, he kind of lays out this yarn of tale which culminates in this one idea that wealthy people, at least in the community that I was in, had three things in common. They all had lawyers, they all had accountants, and they all had financial advisors.

So he said, if you want to service that group of people, go get friendly and hang out with those three, the lawyers, the accountants and financial advisors, and you'll be good. And that became my life's mission. Like you couldn't throw a stone in Detroit, Michigan without hitting an attorney. And I knew who that person was. And over the next three years, I became friends with all of them. And I ended up predominantly doing business with divorce attorneys. It was interesting because at the time, people said, you're an ambulance chaser. You only deal with people that need to sell. And I was thinking, yeah.

Nikki Miller:

That's the point.

Jason Abrams:

Proudly. Like, if I had the hands that could cure people in surgery, I would chase every ambulance in town. Proudly, I'd run after them. And as soon as they stopped, I'd jump in, and I'd try to help. For any of your listeners that have ever went through a divorce, if you don't have experts helping you, it's really difficult stuff. And that business took off and everything was great.

And I got a sales award from Keller Williams. And so it was -- they do these national events. This one was called Family Reunion. So I flew down to Orlando to get this award. And at that time, the award ceremony was like, you got in a line with like a thousand other people. You walk through, and you got to take a picture. And it was great. I loved it. But the person in front of me in line was this real estate agent from Miami, and her thing was helping the professional athletes that were moving into Miami. She helped all the Dolphins. Anyway, we met. We hit it off. Two weeks later, she called, and she said, hey, I have this guy. He was supposed to be a Miami Dolphin. It didn't work out. He's now going to be a Detroit Lion. Would you represent him? I said yes.

Nikki Miller:

Yes, please.

Jason Abrams:

Yes. Talk to him. He's coming to town. I rented a limousine because we couldn't pick him up in the Grand Am, and I set up the houses that I thought he would like, and he loved one of them. And he bought it that day. And it was, lo and behold, the most expensive Toll Brothers new construction home to ever sell in Michigan. And I just couldn't believe it. It closed like 10 or 12 days later and I just couldn't believe it.

So I got this giant check, and I decided I would go fly out and say thank you to his financial adviser and his sports agent, who I had met on phone calls along the way. I just figured that would be a nice thing to do. And to be candid, I had never been on a business trip. I was like, I'm going on a business trip. I never made it in to see his sports agent. I showed up unannounced. I didn't know what I was thinking, but I did leave a thank you note.

And honestly, I don't know if it was three or four weeks later that agent called and said, hey, we have another client coming to the Lions, can you help him? I said, sure, and I did. And then two weeks after that, the person called and said, do you work anywhere other than Michigan? And I said, of course, I work everywhere in the United States, which I figured I would figure it out later. And I don't know, three years later, we were the number one in the world in professional athletic relocation.

I think in 2016, I represented just under 30 percent of the first round of the NFL draft. And it just took off. And then HGTV heard about it, and they decided that they wanted to make a show about it. And so I ended up making that show. It was called Scoring the Deal, still available on Hulu.

Nikki Miller:

Well watched.

Jason Abrams:

Thank you. My mother is the only one that watched it. We did three seasons of that show. And then, it's interesting, I then had a little boy, but my wife at the time did the work. She had the little boy. And I was only home maybe 50 days of his first year of life. And there was this photo of him sitting in this like, spongy stroller thing watching me on TV, and I realized that wasn't going to work anymore. And so I decided to sell that business, get off the road, and kind of retool.

Nikki Miller:

And what happened when you retooled?

Jason Abrams:

I went into the standard "residential" real estate business. I started a business with a guy named Brian Gubanich. We opened up a team together. That worked great. I think the last year that we operated that business together, we sold just over 800 houses, which at that time was a big team. Now, it's really small in comparison to the teams that people are growing. And I kind of fell in love with education at that point.

I had realized that in order to help people get to where they wanted to go faster, there was only two paths. Number one, do it for them. Number two, teach them how to do it. That old adage. There was this third piece, though, that no one ever talked about, which was holding them accountable to either path they chose. And I decided that I was going to try to put those things together. I was going to teach like crazy from the front of the room, and I was going to hold accountable and coach like mad from the back of the room and see if that worked.

And the truth is, it worked for the people that worked. But that feeling that I got was the same one that I had gotten the first time I took that listing way back in Michigan all those years ago. And I got really greedy for it and opened up a coaching company. And we helped people, I think, at the most out of themselves. And then I decided to bring my talents to Keller Williams International.

Nikki Miller:

So before we get into that, you said something earlier that I want to come back to, which is that when you were in school, you said the skills that I had didn't lend themselves to being a great student. What were those skills?

Jason Abrams:

Oh, I had the -- we call it the gift of gab. Back then, it was just called talking too much.

Nikki Miller:

Right. You're an interruption.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah, I was an interruption. I was somewhat of an entertainer. I was manipulative, highly manipulative, which at that time, everyone told me that was a bad word. It was only later in life when Gary Keller said to me, okay, you have a son now, your job is to manipulate this human into living the best life they can. And I was like, bro, I never heard that before. And I said to him, did you mean to use the word manipulate? And he said, well, how else are you going to do it?

Nikki Miller:

Well, that word evolved into now we call them influencers, which really, they are just manipulators. That's really all it is. You're just influencing people to behave one way over another.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah. Well, I asked him, I said, well, so how do I manipulate my kid into living the best life possible? And he said, oh, it's easy. You're bigger, you're stronger, you're smarter, and you're better funded. Go use those things.

Nikki Miller:

Kind of a model for business, isn't it?

Jason Abrams:

Oh my gosh. Well, it is. You use your scale to get what you want. I never thought about any of that before. And so I remember one teacher said to me, you can't con your way through life. And I know how she meant it at the time, which was really well intentioned.

By the way, my mom's a teacher like I said for 35 years. I think teachers are some of the strongest, most underpaid people on the planet. But let's be clear, the number one thing that I believe makes a teacher is looking up and asking the question, what does each of my students need to become the best version of themselves that they can become? And I think this isn't -- you didn't ask, but this idea that we're going to set up a curriculum where everybody's going to have the exact same experience, and then we're going to hope that they all come out as better people, I think is foolish and misguided.

Nikki Miller:

Well, it's an Einstein quote that if you take a fish out of water or and expect them to read, they're going to feel like they're stupid. They're just in the wrong environment.

Jason Abrams:

A hundred percent. I think the best teachers -- and by the way, anybody who fashions themself a leader should take out the word leader and put in the word teacher, because all leadership is, is teaching people how to think so that they do what they need to do when they need to do it. So they get the things they want, when they want to have it. That's what Gary and Jay Papasan teach us. And I look up and say, okay, cool. Then anyone who thinks they're a leader is absolutely and actually a teacher. And then I look up and say, if everyone gets the same lessons plan, you're not teaching anybody.

Nikki Miller:

So when you think about that, as you evolved as a teacher or in our world, we really call them a coach. And as you evolved in that space, how did you give everybody a different lesson plan? Because that's almost impossible to do with every single person that's in front of you. How do you scale that?

Jason Abrams:

Well, you can't. You can't help everybody, but you can help somebody. And I believe you have a responsibility to do that. So I teach from the front of the room. And I don't coach from the front of the room, I teach from the front of the room. I think of it like this. Everybody wakes up every day and they're seeking knowledge and wisdom.

Knowledge, this came from a book. I didn't make this up. So knowledge is this idea that everything that you take from a course, you take from a book, you take from a podcast like this, you take from a movie, it's the acquisition of specific information around a specific topic. That's knowledge.

Wisdom is something different. I believe in a divine soul. And some of you listening might say, oh, that's way too esoteric, but hear me out first. When I say divine soul, I mean that everything that you need is already inside of you. You can think of it as instinct as you want, but you actually know the things that you need to know. When you acquire knowledge, it unlocks pieces of the soul, and all of a sudden you become wiser.

That's why being the most well-read doesn't make you the wisest. It just makes you the most well-read. And in life, I believe the quest, everyone says, well, I'm searching for enlightenment or I'm on this quest for something. I think what you're actually doing is you're trying to find the people, or the readings or the music or the art that you can feel instead of hear. And when you feel it, it unlocks this soul. And all of a sudden, you gain this insight.

And I actually think that's the only right use of the word insight. It's a sight from within. Everything you get exterior is outside and you're just getting outsides to unlock your own insights. And so when I put all this together and I said, okay, then what's the role of the teacher? The teacher is to say the things that unlock the feelings within the students. You say okay, well then what's the role of the coach? The coach is to hold the person accountable to acting on those feelings. That's how I think about life.

Nikki Miller:

And as you evolve and as you realize this is not only the skill that you have, but also what you want to give back to the world, who you want to be inside this world. You then go and find people who are doing it at the highest level and say, I want to be in partnership with you, which I imagine is how you ended up working with Gary and Jay. So you've been working with Gary, who owns the number one real estate company in the world and is a master of many things in our industry and outside. As you've grown in this space and as you've evolved with him, really as your coach, what does he taught you about how to lead people and how to teach other people how to think?

Jason Abrams:

Mainly, that the key to all success is found in the models that are used. And the reason is because success doesn't happen at any one single time. Warren Buffett is famous for saying this. Someone said to him, so how did you know you were going to make it? And he said, never at any single day. And that's about it, right? Gary looks up and says, I can win on any single day based on my raw talents, but I can't win every day based on those talents.

So any part of my life that I want to have big wins, I need to have a model, and that model needs to be fashioned around the best practices from all the people that have lived before me, that have had the big successes within it. So when someone says to me, Jason, I want to lose weight. Great, what's your model for that? Not going to work. Love you, by the way. Not going to work.

What's your model for making money? What's your model for investing money? What's your model for making sure that the relationships that you want in your life live up to the fullest? What's your model for raising your kid? What's your model for getting into relationship? More importantly, what's your model for getting out of relationship? You know, it's funny to me, everybody can wax poetically about how to get into relationship with people, but no one spends any time thinking about the models to get out of those relationships when it's wildly organic, to meet people and get out of relationship with them. That's organic.

I mean, I'll prove it to everyone listening. I want you to close your eyes for a second and think back to high school. I want you to think about all the faces that you see, all the people that you knew, all the names that you knew, all of the people you were in some level of relationship with. You got it. Perfect. Now, how many of those people are you still in relationship with? And you might have your three or four ride or die girls, Nikki. Like you got your crew. But 99.5 percent of the people, you're no longer in relationship with. And I just want to fashion a guess. It's not because you ever had a model to get out of a relationship. You just started ignoring them because life happened to each of you.

Nikki Miller:

The millennials call it ghosting.

Jason Abrams:

Okay. I myself depending on which website you subscribe to, I'm a millennial.

Nikki Miller:

So you should call it ghosting.

Jason Abrams:

Well, I'm 43. Anyway, this is one of the central challenges in life. There's got to be ways to get into relationship, ways to get out. There's got to be models that govern the things that matter to me. And I think right now, because there's so much media and there's so many books and there's so many podcasts and there's so many YouTube videos, that it's dangerous because ultimately you can become an intellectual tourist.

And practicing intellectual tourism might feel good, but it's not going to make your life any better. And you know those people that are like, I've read every single book on leadership and they're leading nobody including themselves, or the one that's read every single book on finance, or the one that's watched every single YouTube video that says, don't buy real estate. And they're like, I'm an expert. And you're like, okay, what's your net worth? And they're like, let's talk about something else. That's intellectual tourism.

The way that I think it should work is you should pick the part of your life that you want to make a difference in. Then you should study the hell out of it until you have a simple model that fits on one page that's based on all the facts, and then you should go live that. And then any time something new comes out, you should look at it and say, does this change the way I was operating? Is this new information that makes a better model? And if it isn't, stop reading. And if it is, then you consider it.

Nikki Miller:

So let me ask you this. You interview a lot of really successful people as part of what you do, specifically in the real estate space. And one of the big challenges I see is that there's a model for almost everything if you look closely enough. And there are models that will be similar, but there are so many models to be successful, successful even within the same vertical. So how do you choose?

Jason Abrams:

Well, there's scoreboards for everything. Like I see all the time people run around and say, I am the guru. I'm the one to teach you to sell houses. I guess you can go with that or you can look up at a guy who sells one in every five homes in the entire United States. His name is Gary Keller. I'm just guessing he's right. And this is going to irritate some people. But if you're getting your financial advice from anyone like other than Warren Buffett, if you're like, oh, there he goes again, the Buffett train. Yeah, he's made more money than everybody else. And he came from no money.

So I don't understand by what means you're picking the people you're listening to. In life, you get to pick your prophets. I don't know how to spell it, but I'm talking about the kind of prophet that you actually listen to, not the kind that you make in the bank account. So if you don't have a model for picking your prophets, you're liable to fall for anything. Gary and Jay say it best, if you don't know what you're stand for, you'll fall for anything.

But just understand that when you're scrolling through the Insta, Twitters and you're flying through and you're watching people who are talking to you, and they're talking to you like it's fact, and you're doing it at your weakest time, you're doing it right when you wake up, you're doing it right before you go to sleep. You're doing it right before your coffee kicks in and you think it's just idle. You are filling your head with whatever those people think is right. It's a very dangerous diet.

Nikki Miller:

So you look up, you say, I have all of these skills. I've used them to build a coaching company, to build a training company, to build a huge team. And now I'm going to go completely a different direction and go work at a real estate company where I'm involved in specifically learning industry and guiding a huge space within Keller Williams. What did you have to do to evolve into the position that you're at now? Because it's a different set of skills that you're using.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah, that's a great question. I think the key I floundered for quite some time when I started, you're trying to like find your footing. Most people make the mistake when they join a large company and they're in a leadership position in saying, well, how do I affect change at scale? And you feel like that is your mission. I believe most entrepreneurs look up and they try to scale way before they're ever ready to do it.

The person I had to be was the one who truly understood the line that great big businesses are great small businesses. And that was it. It wasn't about going out and talking to 20,000 people. It was about sitting at your computer and writing one page of information that would be so valuable that everybody would want to have it. I get these phone calls all the time from people that say, hey, I have this great idea, I have this great product, I have this great podcast, I have this great book, I have this great thing. I just need more marketing. I need a larger megaphone. I need a bigger stage.

But here's what I know after all these years, 24 of them in the real estate business, and the real estate business is a great microcosm for all businesses because it's business to business and it's business to consumer all wrapped into one. And here's what I know. If you think your problem is that you don't have a big enough megaphone, you've missed it. It's that you don't have a good enough product, you don't have a good enough idea, and you don't have a good enough presentation. The type of products you want to be selling are the ones that, no matter what you do, are sold out. That's the kind of product.

And don't tell me that it doesn't happen, because I can give you examples all the time. And of those products you tell me that those are fast. By the way, Beanie Babies was that thing. Slap bracelets from that thing. Prime. This energy drink is that thing. It's the craziest thing in the world because I've never watched on national TV and seen a commercial for this Prime drink, but my ten-year-old literally believes that if he doesn't drink it, he's going to shrink up, turn into a raisin, and die. I don't know how that all happened, but it did. But how many other people think that they have a great juice that isn't selling, and all they need is a more marketing budget? It's not the case.

Nikki Miller:

Well, and at the end of the day, if you have a great product, people tell your story for you. Keller Williams proved that. You've never seen a Keller Williams commercial.

Jason Abrams:

No. They have zero marketing budget.

Nikki Miller:

You've never seen a Keller Williams commercial, whether it be to consumer or for agent. It's really about building a great story, affecting people's lives and then allowing them to go and tell that story.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah. The truth is people want to own things that they believe in. This is why some people look up and say the fundamentals of certain stocks are a joke. It's a bad investment. And yet the stock price keeps going up because people keep buying it. It's because people believe in it. And when people believe in something, they can't help but want to talk about it. You'll call it evangelizing if we were talking about religion and proselytizing.

But the reality of it is, is when you believe that something is good and true, then you truly believe it's good and true for everybody. Then you can't help but tell people about it. It's the same thing with great movies that you see or great shows that you see. No one's ever said, oh my gosh, you have to go use this hairstylist. She's the best. I don't go to her, but I think she's probably great. That doesn't happen.

Nikki Miller:

Well, and at the end of the day, I think when we follow leaders and when we believe in people, it really comes back to that, that it's not just products we believe in. It has to be people that we believe in too. What about Gary made you believe in him so much that you would sell that business, leave that which I know is highly profitable, highly successful and come here?

Jason Abrams:

He's a seeker. He's a journeyer. I don't think that he has all the answers. I don't think I've met anybody that does, but I --

Nikki Miller:

And if they think they do, everybody should probably watch out.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah, probably. I'm just so wildly passionate about people that are on a journey and that are seeking for something. Alcoholics refer to it as a moment of clarity when in the midst of all of this fog of their lives, they have these two or three minutes where they have this moment of clarity, and they truly understand something. And you hope in that moment they go, and they make a change. And some of them do, and some of them don't, but the moments are the same.

I look up at people's lives, and I kind of think it's the same for all of us. We have these moments of clarity where everything around us slows down, and we're clear on what needs to happen next. The most enlightened people that I know are the ones that spend so much time working on this that they simply elongate those moments. It goes from 30 seconds to a minute. It goes from a minute to three minutes. It goes from three minutes to an hour. It goes from an hour once a week to an hour twice a week. And they spend their life working on it.

And when we say someone's truly enlightened, we say like a Buddha is enlightened, I would submit to you that they're simply having a moment of clarity that doesn't end. I find that so exciting to even think about we can come close to it. And Gary Keller is one of the few people that I know who wakes up every day searching for it. And there are days that he finds it, and there are other more days that he doesn't, but he documents the journey. And that's what I fell in love with.

Every day I walk in and he'll have some doodle of a model that he's working on, or he'll have a journal passage of an experience that he had. And it's almost like walking next to a thinking person's journey in life. And when I say thinking person, that doesn't mean to diminish anyone who isn't doing those things. But if you've never been around somebody who's documenting it like that and you're kind of a nerd like I am, it is the coolest thing you can imagine every day.

Nikki Miller:

Ironic that someone who had so many challenges in school would then grow up to be a lifelong learner and literally stake their life, stake their career on teaching other people to learn, and building models to help people learn.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah, I never -- I guess I hadn't considered it ironic. I guess I had considered it payback. I remember every one of those teachers, and I remember sitting at every one of those principal's office, and I remember every time somebody told me to be quiet. And I don't think I'm the only kid that was in that class. And there's a bunch of people like me. And by the way, just because you're not 18 anymore, doesn't mean you don't go back to school. And yeah, I don't mean that you go get new khakis and a button down and you show up with a backpack. Every day is school. It just turns out that school can be cool. We call it life.

Nikki Miller:

And you took that and created these models that you love. You did interviews and created an entire book of models and then started a podcast called The MREA Podcast, which is off of the Millionaire Real Estate Agent. And you're interviewing agents who have gone and built amazing things, pairing all of that down to a model to share with the entirety of the real estate industry. By the way, if I may offer, I think you should send a signed copy of that book to every one of those teachers.

Jason Abrams:

Oh, since you were on it.

Nikki Miller:

I didn't even consider that, to be honest.

Jason Abrams:

I will. I actually will.

Nikki Miller:

It was more for payback.

Jason Abrams:

Well, And the thing that I'm most proud of with that podcast is that at the end of every episode, if you're on the email list, you get the one-page model written of whoever was teaching during that episode. And the thing I love about it, if you're a millennial, a true millennial, you won't remember this. But I used to go to school, and they give you textbooks, and then you'd go home, and my mom would sit, and we would take the grocery bags and we'd make book covers, like the paper grocery bags, because you got fined if you brought back a book. And we'd make the book covers.

And I remember doing this, I remember sitting there thinking, how could it possibly take 400 pages to tell me something? What kind of idiot wrote this book that they couldn't do it in one page? And I remember thinking that a lot. And then life happened, and I never thought about it again. And then I started working for Gary, and he gave me an assignment. He said, I want you to go, and I want you to document thus and so and bring it back to me.

And I did. I brought it back and I said, here it is. It's perfect. And I had agonized over it. And he said, this is seven pages. And I said, yeah. And he goes, well, what was your intent with this? And I said, well, I'm hoping to get everybody on the same page around this topic. And he goes, how could everyone be on the same page if they're seven pages? I remember feeling like the smallest human on the planet. And I said, what do you mean? He said, go make it one page. And I said it can't be one page. It's more complicated than that.

And he said, Jason, the best things in life are the most simplistic, and yet everything naturally becomes more complicated. Your job is to wake up every day and fight the natural force of complication. One page. And I've never ever heard that before. It's not to say it hasn't been said. It's probably been said throughout history by tons of brilliant people. I had never heard it. It was new to me and oh my gosh, I felt like ten feet tall that day, about to play a basketball game. Like I said, no problem. Take seven pages and make it one. Great.

Nikki Miller:

I got this.

Jason Abrams:

When I was in school, people were like, you didn't -- this was supposed to be 750 words. You only had 180 words. You fail. And I was like, but it didn't take 750 words to say it.

Nikki Miller:

Well, I think, Jason, there's an evolution in business that everyone goes through that. At the beginning, when you're trying to find your seat at the table, you're trying to feel like you belong, everyone is making things so complicated, and you feel like those are the people who know what they're doing. The people who drone on about these esoteric concepts that no one can really bring to conclusion, or who write the 400-page book when really you realize that people who know it the best, the people who are the clearest, who have the most sense of clarity, are the ones who can put it on a one-page plan.

Jason Abrams:

It's just one page. And then everyone says, well, Jason, you can't possibly capture all the details. Don't need to. You just don't need to. The details -- the universe conspires to help the details take care of themselves.

Nikki Miller:

When you're clear on what matters most.

Jason Abrams:

A hundred percent correct. You know how you know this is true? Because there's been more books written about Warren Buffett during his life than Alexander the Great since his death, and this is a person who conquered the entire known world. We're just living in a time of prolific writing, and everybody seems to think that they get paid per page. You don't. You don't. You get paid by the number of lives that you change and the number of people who are captured by the idea. And I think simple in one page is an idea that everybody can relate to.

Nikki Miller:

People fight this concept so much, right? And in The ONE Thing, we use the 135 or the GPS as some call it, which is just a one-page plan, which we've used for small organizations, and we've used for huge organizations. And at the end of the day, you can always get everybody on a one-page plan. Some are more detailed or longer than others, but it really always comes back to this one page. So as you look up and you've been party to all of these models, party to all of these conversations, and now in this world for so long, I have to imagine you've heard hundreds of them. Is there one that stands out to you as this is the model? If there was one you could offer as the keys to the universe, which one would it be?

Jason Abrams:

Win the morning, win the day. I mean, this is just the secret. And I don't care what you're struggling with. It's just facts. And you're going to be like, no, but it doesn't feel good, I get it. Don't care. It's just fact. But my favorite color is blue. Don't care. You're not a special snowflake when it comes to this fact. And the fact of the matter is, is that if you do the one thing that matters most in the morning first thing, then everything around that competency becomes easier or less important.

And that's what it is. You wrote a book on it, and this isn't because we're on the ONE Thing podcast. It's the truth. In everything, there's something that matters more than everything else. Whatever that thing is, win the morning, get it done, then the rest of the day is downhill. It is the most powerful model in the world, and the reason it's the most powerful model in the world is because it doesn't matter whether you want to be in better physical fitness. You want to have more wealth. You want to make more cash. You want to be in better relationship. It doesn't matter what it is. It works for all of them. It's the universal model.

Nikki Miller:

So people are listening to this and they're saying, yeah, yeah, we get it. Like we've read the miracle.

Jason Abrams:

But you don't get -- then they don't get it. Because if you keep telling me about all the things that you've read and all the things that you know, but your life still looks the same after, then you're the intellectual tourist and you don't get it.

Nikki Miller:

So walk me through what it looks like for you because you have a son. So I know, I can already tell you the limiting beliefs that are rolling through people's heads right now listening to this. And they're like, well, I got kids and my morning's crazy and my baby's up, or my toddler's up or my teenager's up, or I got things to take care of in the morning. How do I actually take ownership of my morning? What does that look like for you?

Jason Abrams:

I just don't care about any of those things. And once you let it sit for a minute, you're going to be like, he did it. No, he did it. Look, I got a -- you named all the things in the morning that could reroute me from the thing that's most important to me. But here's the difference, I've made the decision that the things that are most important to me are all going to have a model.

So my model for my son doesn't take place first thing in the morning. It doesn't. It takes place right after school. And you're like, well, how does that work? Who makes sure he gets off on the right morning? He does. And if he doesn't, he's going to have a difficult go in life. And I'm there leaving the breadcrumbs of how to have a great morning. And hopefully one day he decides to start picking them up.

Nikki Miller:

I love that. So how do you have a great morning? What is your morning routine look like?

Jason Abrams:

This is the craziest thing in the world because my morning routine for like 80 percent of my life was wake up when the sun is warm, eat as many donuts as I can, and then try to get into my day. And I'm not knocking that model. If that works for you, you do you. Me, I got to operate a little differently. I got to be up by 5:00. I have to do something active. There's no one on the planet that hates that more than me. I literally stare at my tennis shoes before I'm about to go on my walk, and I curse them and call them every name in the book. And sometimes I have to stare at them for 20 minutes before I actually put them on and go anywhere.

But I have to do it because if I don't do it, here's what I know. Whatever else I have to do that day that's hard won't get done either. Then I have to eat something good for breakfast. I hate breakfast. It's a force-feeding situation. If it was up to me, I'd eat 9000 calories at dinner and I'd start with dessert. I can't do that. I got to eat something healthy in the morning.

And then I write as soon as I get to the office. If I don't get my writing done, if I don't get some ideas on paper, I think writing is really hard. I think putting pen to paper is really hard. But if you're a writer, you got to write, and I'll write anything when I get there. And most of it, 99 percent of it will never be used, but I just have to start writing something. If I do those things, I'm good.

Nikki Miller:

What are you writing when you come in? Is there a prompt that you have? Or is it just whatever comes out of your head?

Jason Abrams:

It's whatever comes out of my head. I mean, this morning I went on this whole diatribe about the idiot that doesn't know how to drive next to me. And just because you have a Tesla, doesn't mean you have to show how fast it goes out of every light. I think you're an idiot.

Nikki Miller:

And there's a lot to unpack there. Not enough time for that today.

Jason Abrams:

Yeah, I get it. It's really quick off the line. I don't understand why you have to do that at every light. I don't understand.

Nikki Miller:

I don't think anybody understands except them.

Jason Abrams:

I don't understand.

Nikki Miller:

Maybe once you buy a Tesla, you know.

Jason Abrams:

That's it. If that's what it's going to take, then I'll never know that joy.

Nikki Miller:

Neither of us. So you look up and you realize that you have this certain set of skills. And right before we actually started recording, we were talking about sports and how athletes will find the edge in what they do and how we're all really just looking for that throughout life. How do I find the edge?

And to me, that's what these models have become for you. That's the edge that you found. And then most importantly, you had to get into implementation, which you talked about earlier. It's not just about being an intellectual tourist, it's about actually taking what you learn and implementing it. So what's your model for that? Because you are exposed to so much information that if you implement it, everything, your life would be chaos.

Jason Abrams:

Well, look, it's less of a model and more of a responsibility. I got this job. It comes with this thing called a W-2 and a paycheck. And so like, I have to go do those things. And look, I've looked up and I've made a choice. I've decided to make my work the central focus of my life. And that's really difficult to say because, look, I have a family and I have a little boy. And that's not to say, I interview so many people on the podcast, and almost all of them tell me that they're doing this for their families. And I honor that, and I love that.

For me, that wasn't it. I'm doing this because it makes me feel really good. And I like how it feels. And I like the impact that I'm having. And I've decided to make work first. And with that, I'm not naive to the idea that it's cost me. But I know what comes second, which is my key relationships. And I know what comes third, which is my spirituality. And I know what comes fourth, which is my wealth. And I get to decide what order those things are in. I think the biggest mistake people make is they wake up and they subscribe to somebody else's order of things.

There's this book called The Regrets of the Dying, and Jay talks about it all the time. And it was this hospice nurse who helped thousands of people take the final step in their lives. And the number one regret of the dying is that they didn't live their life. They lived somebody else's ideals. They lived somebody else's values. They lived in somebody else's town. They honored somebody else. They stayed in relationships they wished they wouldn't have. They didn't get into relationships they would have. They stayed in jobs they didn't like. They lived other people's lives. And then you wake up at the end and realize you only had one.

Confucius said, everybody lives two lives. The one you're living and then the one you live when you wake up and realize you only have one. And that's the only way to decide what model you're going to live by is to decide what you actually want, and then be strong enough to go take it.

Nikki Miller:

I think so many profoundly successful people in life and spirituality, whatever success means to you, have set a version of this, right? Gary always asks the question, whose life are you living and how do you know? And I think it was Michael Singer who said, there's the life you live and then the unlived life within you. Who do you want to be? And maybe as a result of becoming that person, what might you also achieve? And I think so many people do get lost in all of the pressures of who they should be, not ever realizing that we're all pressuring who everyone should be, not realizing who we actually want to be.

Jason Abrams:

You think about Michael Singer in that way. I mean, look, here's the dude who wakes up one day and decides that he wants to deeply understand himself to the extent where he buys a plot of land in Gainesville, Florida, in a swamp and simply starts to meditate for hours and hours on end. And by the way, while he's going through the spiritual journey and he's building the temple of the universe, he also manages to go build and sell a company for hundreds of millions of dollars.

So it isn't like you're one or the other. You're not like a warrior monk or a businessperson. You can be a warrior poet, business monk. That's what that guy proved. And if that guy can do all of those things at once, then don't tell me that you can't have what you want to have. It's just that you don't want them as badly as he did. And that's okay too.

Nikki Miller:

Well, it's about making a decision in The ONE Thing. We talk about all the areas of your life that there are seven circles of your life, and you have to make a decision to each one of those what you want that to look like and who you want to be in each of those, and what the goals are and what that means to you. And it's all to say that life is not singular, and you can't live in just this one single vertical.

You can say work is important to you and that your family is important to you, and that your health is important to you, and that your spirituality is important to you and that your finances are important to you. All of these things can coexist, which I think sometimes gets lost for people in this black and white thinking that it's one or and I say, no, it's one and.

Jason Abrams:

We were writing to get ready for an event, and Jay took those circles and he put them on a board. And then Gary walked over and drew a giant circle around all the circles, and then wrote the word happiness. The truth of it is that all of those things in harmony create happiness. And this is what we went on to explain. We said that happiness isn't this two-dimensional idea.

Most people live happiness conditionally. It's a conditional level of happiness. I'll be happy when I get blank. I'm happy because I have blank. I'll be happy if you do blank for me. I'll be really happy if you make me feel better about me. These are all conditional things. That's the first layer of happiness.

The second layer is I choose to be happy. I wake up every day and I have a happy disposition and I choose happiness. Happiness is a choice you give yourself. It's a gift. And then the third one is life happiness. Meaning I look back on my life and I'm happy with the things that I did so that I can say I'm glad I did not, I wish I had. These are these three ideals that happiness lives in at all times.

The only way to have all three is to go through and decide what you want in each of those parts of life that are in The ONE Thing, and then live in such a way to actually get them. Because if you don't, if you just say, gosh, I would be so happy if I had a $10 million mansion in Kawaihae, in Princeville, on the North Shore, that would make me so happy. Here's the challenge. I know somebody who said that. I also have been to that person's house, which actually ended up being $13 million on the North Shore of Kauai.

And that person is not that happy. They're just not. They were probably really happy when they got it. I can't tell you how many professional athletes and entertainers who I sold real estate to, when we were sitting in the back of those limousines, that would be profoundly unhappy. Excited about the purchase they were about to make, excited about the granite, excited about all of the pools that they were going to have, but just not happy. And that's such a shame if you think about it.

Nikki Miller:

Yeah. Jason, at the end of this podcast, we always ask our guests, what's the one thing? If listeners could listen to this today, what's the one thing you want to leave them with? What's the one thing you would want them to take away?

Jason Abrams:

That you 100 percent know the relationship you should get out of right now, and you 100 percent know the relationship you should get into right now. And I have no idea what's been holding you back from doing it, but I'm just going to take a guess. You're actually terrified of both. And I have no idea what's going to get you over that terror. But whatever it is, go do it. This idea that you don't know what to do next, that's not true. That's the wisdom inside of you. It's telling you literally what to go do next. You're just missing a feeling to unlock the courage to go do it. And that sounds esoteric, I know, but that would be my wish for everybody.

Nikki Miller:

And then a model to go and do it.

Jason Abrams:

You're going to need a model.

Nikki Miller:

Jason, if everybody wants to connect with you, where can they find you?

Jason Abrams:

You know, Nikki, I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before. That's dead serious. I don't have an answer for that. Why don't you all just email me? It's Jason@kw.com. And you're going to say, oh my gosh, I can't believe you did that. Yeah, I actually want to hear from you. If you listen to this and this changed anything for you or you have a question, email me directly. I want to respond.

Nikki Miller:

Well, offer it to everyone as well that they should listen to that MREA podcast, which comes out on October?

Jason Abrams:

23rd.

Nikki Miller:

October 23rd. Thank you so much for being here today.

Jason Abrams:

Thanks.

Outro:

Thanks for listening to The ONE Thing podcast. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the something.com. There you'll find information on one-on-one Coaching, our exclusive community membership program, and customized workshops that will help you get your team or organization aligned and rowing in the same direction.

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